Happy Mothering Day to the people who are mothering someone else’s children, in whatever way.
Happy Mothering Day to the women whose children are being mothered by someone else, for whatever reason.

Coretta Scott King leading a march of “Welfare Mothers” in 1968

Happy Mothering Day to the parents struggling to get by.
Happy Mothering Day to the teen/young/new moms and pregnant folk.
Happy Mothering Day to the surrogate moms. Both literal and figurative.
Happy Mothering Day to the women who chose not to continue their pregnancies.
Happy Mothering Day to all the people who can’t have children, and all the people who don’t want children.
Happy Mothering Day to those who mother animals, or who part-time mother other humans through volunteering.

Happy Mothering Day to those moms who are missed and those who are missing children.
Take some time today to reflect on what makes you and your mothering awesome; you deserve it.

Today is a day to celebrate all the caretakers in our lives and honor the incredible and priceless work caretakers do for our societies. Raising babies and children and teens to be respectful, loving, contributing members of society is one of the most, if not the most important job in society, and yet the people who are tasked with this enormous responsibility are not seen as “earning a living” because their work is unpaid. The people who raise individuals who love others, who fight against injustice, who work for peace, and who shine positivity into this world ought to be praised and commended and recognized regularly, not just one day a year. And this praise and recognition and commendation ought to come in the form of eternal gratitude displayed with regular acts of kindness and love towards them and everyone else, not by buying into the commercialism of Capitalist Mother’s Day.

Diamonds and many other gems are mined from the poorest countries with slave labor and not only siphon wealth away from that country but deplete its natural resources and fund illegal and terrorist activity. Flowers are raised with pesticides and fertilizers that poison the planet and the farm workers who harvest them. Chocolate too is full of dangerous chemicals and is harvested with child slave labor from some of the poorest countries on earth. Even the founder of Mother’s Day, Anna Jarvis, eventually fought against it because of the commercialization surrounding it.

Motherhood is an option, not an obligation

Truthfully I can’t tell you what your mother or your mother-figure wants, but I can tell you that she and all people who mother would be better off if everyone who wanted to become pregnant or have a child could, and if no one who did not want to become pregnant didn’t. Happy Mothering Day pro-choicers! May every motherhood be a wanted one.

*Trigger Warning: Sexual Violence* Take care of yourself. If you need to talk to someone, contact RAINN.

This week, April 7-13, is International Anti-Street Harassment Week and April is both Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Abortion Wellbeing Month, an overlap that is very personal to me. I have been harassed on the street more times than I can count. I am a survivor of sexual assault, rape and childhood sexual abuse. I am also an abortion provider. Though these might not seem to have anything to do with each other, since my assaults thankfully did not result in pregnancy, they are intrinsically linked. Each assault I have endured and the violence I face as an abortion provider are affronts to my right to bodily autonomy. My tragedies, however, have shaped who I am as an individual: I am a warrior for equality.

The restricting of access to abortion and sexual assault both serve one purpose–to control women by controlling their bodies. For women in the United States and around the world to be well, to be whole, equal and productive citizens women must first have the right to control their own bodies. The right to say no to unwanted physical contact and the right to make informed decisions about what medical procedures we choose to undergo are basic human rights. If I have sex and get pregnant and do not want to continue to be pregnant, I have the right to terminate the pregnancy because my body is mine alone and the responsibility for caring for the pregnancy would be mine alone. If I am a stranger, if I say no, if I stay silent, if I am crying, you have no right to my body. Consent is sexy and only an emphatic YES! means yes.

While hapless pundits wonder if violence against women is something that women really worry about, from Stubenville, Ohio to Delhi, India rape and sexual assault happen every moment of every day all around the world.

And each attack transforms its victim and its perpetrator. The healing process for survivors can be long and painful but so many initiatives now exist to put an end to sexual violence that the tides may be turning. Women in Kenya have filed a lawsuit against their government for failing to protect them from rape! From tackling street harassment with Meet Us On The Street and Hollaback! to a mom taking on Facebook‘s “controversial humor” pages glorifying sexual violence to Denim Day to the No More, Who Are You? and Where is Your Line? campaigns to comics and cell phone apps, more and more people are realizing that the strength of our numbers will ultimately win.

Unfortunately in the US abortion rights are backsliding.

While France has made contraception and abortion free for all women, here in the US we are still fighting for the right to buy prescriptions for birth control at our local pharmacies. North Dakota has banned abortion after 6 weeks, has only one abortion provider AND has a 72 hour waiting period. Ohio is working to make abortion illegal, as is Alabama. Iowa is trying to restrict abortion access for female inmates. Texas is seriously thinking about making it that much harder to get an abortion.  Kansas lawmakers have been granted the right to lie to their patients and disrespect rape victims while making all abortion basically illegal. And Indiana, Virginia and North Carolina are in on this racket too. Sadly, recent news has shown us, as has history time and again, that without access to abortion women die. The United Nations has recently declared that denying abortions is tantamount to torture.

Some states are defending Reproductive Justice; Oregon is considering a bill that would require Crisis Pregnancy Centers (non-medically licensed religiously affiliated centers that lie to women to prevent them from having abortions) to disclose what services they actually offer and comply with federal medical regulations regarding patient confidentiality. Also, Washington is trying to mandate insurance coverage for abortion care, and New York is attempting to broaden the availability of abortion. One recent victory for women in the US is the ruling that Emergency Contraception, also known as Plan B or The Morning After Pill, must be made available over-the-counter for all women. Health professionals and activists have been fighting for this for years and even though some states still oppose regular daily oral contraceptives, making EC more available will reduce abortion rates, which ultimately is everyone’s goal. And though Christian and Republican arguments against birth control and EC defy logic, it is a reasonable assumption that if everyone had access to comprehensive sex education and contraception that the rates of unintended pregnancy, and by default abortion, would be lower. The voice of reason now, our voices, must be heard if we want to see any change in this War on Women.

One courageous lawmaker this week, Assemblymember Lucy Flores (D-Nevada), disclosed to the public that she has had an abortion. Her compelling personal story of abortion being a positive life-changing experience for her comes at a time when most women would never dream of telling anyone they had an abortion. Though more than 1/3 of all American women will have an abortion at least once by age 45, a good 80% of my patients believe they don’t know anyone else who has had an abortion. The trepidation that women feel at disclosing this is both maddening and understandable: Flores has received death threats since admitting she does not regret having an abortion. This stifling of choice, and backlash against women who exercise their legal right to abortion, is one more spark igniting violence against women in the United States.

If we want equality, and I know some people don’t, we must respect women. We must respect women’s right to bodily autonomy. If women’s bodily autonomy were respected the rates of sexual assault would plummet, and women who have abortions would not be demonized for their choices. For Sexual Assault Awareness Month, share resources with your friends, be supportive of those who have been assaulted, speak out against rape jokes, and volunteer with or donate to your local rape crisis center. For Abortion Wellbeing Month, share your stories with your friends, be supportive of women or couples facing unwanted pregnancies, speak out against politicians interfering in medicine, and volunteer as an escort at your local clinic, or donate to your local abortion fund. Below are some tips on respecting bodily autonomy: what constitutes consent and how male allies can get in on the good fight and stop rape and street harassment. As always any comments, links, ideas and critiques are welcome as long as they are respectful and constructive. Carry on, dear reader, the fight for human rights needs you!

Related articles

• Recognizing Sexual Assault Awareness Month (whitehouse.gov)
• 10 Ways to Mark Sexual Assault Awareness Month (aauw.org)
• Abortion bill drops reporting provision (sfgate.com)
• One in Three: Silenced Stories of Survivors of Sexual Assault and Women Who Have Abortions (my.firedoglake.com)

Today, March 31st, is both Cesar Chavez Day and International Transgender Day of Visibility. These two fights are not so different, as far as this feminist activist is concerned. Cesar Chavez Day honors a man who fought for labor rights of Chican@ people, a people often made invisible by their labor. Transgender people’s plight is also often invisible. Both are the result of “mainstream” culture willfully turning away from any struggle for equality that is not their own.

Everyone’s freedom is tied up with everyone else’s and until every Latina/o and every transgender person, and every transgender Latina/o, is free, I am not free and neither are you. It is well understood by academics how making people invisible takes away their humanity and that is why the visibility of transgender people and undocumented workers is so vital to the struggle for freedom. Everyone’s story is important for making the quilt of American history. Everyone, including undocuqueers, have the right for their voice to be heard.

While discrimination against transgender folks sometimes makes the news, today, all over Facebook and from Canada to Venezuela to Jamaica to Myanmar the world is waking up to positive transgender visibility and images. Transgender history is our history, and without knowing our failures and shortcomings we will be doomed to repeat them. Below is GLAAD‘s brief history of transgender visibility in the United States.

Related articles

• GLAAD adds transgender equality to its mission (tv.msnbc.com)

I am so sick and tired of being treated like public property by men who feel entitled to my body when I leave my house. I wish my first post during Women’s History Month was more uplifting but I really have to ask, and I wish my feminist foremothers were here to give me an answer: What do you do when you are publicly harassed/groped/sexually assaulted?

Obviously this post is the result of a personal issue but of course the personal is political so my story is that of countless billions of other women in the world too. Just today a black woman of roughly my age, waiting for the same bus as me, was being “talked up” by a mid-50s white guy. She clearly wasn’t interested and yet he kept talking at her. I nearly interjected, “Bro, she doesn’t want to talk to  you.” But by persistently ignoring him she eventually shut him up. I know she wasn’t interested by the look on her face, and because I know exactly how she felt because not 15 minutes earlier at the same stop another old white guy came up to me.

“Can I ask you a question?
“Mmhmm.” (Hoping it would be about what number bus, etc.)
“Why is your hair so much better than mine? (He was bald)
“Genes.” (And a fake, fuck off smile)
“Hahaha, exactly. You are beautiful.”

Fuck man, seriously?!? I can’t just wait for the fucking bus without you feeling like you have to tell me that I live up to your socially constructed beauty standards? And I’m sick, not wearing make up, covered from head to toe because I’m cold and wearing sunglasses and headphones. How much clearer could, “Don’t talk to me” get? It shouldn’t surprise me though because yesterday a young white guy started talking at me as he approached the bus stop where I was sitting and did the same thing. I had headphones on (my normal defense mechanism against misogyny and douchbaggery) so I didn’t hear the first part of his ode, but once he was close enough I heard “You’re absolutely gorgeous.” And then he disappeared around the corner. What the fuck was the point of that!?!?

If you’re going to compliment someone, wait until you get their attention, if they don’t seem utterly annoyed that you’ve pulled them away from their music/book/laptop/phone, proceed with your compliment, then wait for an appropriate response.

You may be thinking, what’s the big deal, guys think you’re pretty, it’s a compliment, just be thankful. I refuse to be thankful that my body is not considered my own, and that simply because I am a woman I am subject to harassment when I enter public space. The very same thought process that says, be thankful, is the one that condones and promotes rape culture and victim blaming, after all, women want it, right?

Here’s the example that prompted today’s blog of fury. I was sitting on a crowded bus with my bag in the window seat next to me. A young black man comes up and says something while pointing at the seat. Headphones on I have no idea what he said but I grab my bag and get up so he can sit. Once he sits he spreads his legs so that he’s taking up half my seat and is holding onto the outside of his pocket so that he brushes my thigh until I scoot so far over that half of my ass is off my seat. He tries to talk to me, I pretend I can’t hear him, use my phone and silently beg the universe to let another seat open so I can get away from him. He pulls something out of his pocket and taps me with it. I take out my left headphone to hear him offer my what appears to be grape-flavored lip gloss. I say, “No. Thanks,”  and put my headphone back in. Finally the universe listens and a bunch of people get off the bus.

I move over into the same row on the other side of the aisle, with my bag again in the window seat. He is staring at me, and with Austin traffic for the kite festival he has all the time in the world. I make it a point to look out the window on my side, trying desperately not to look at him, engage him or let him know how uncomfortable I am. Out of the corner of my eye I’m fairly sure he’s masturbating but I don’t dare look. The rage and sadness and fear that I felt meant that if I had seen him my reaction would have been violent, and I try so hard to practice peace in my personal life. Once the frantic movement across the aisle stopped I quickly glanced his direction only to see him flash open his jacket. Luckily I was just glancing or I probably would have seen more than I should have.

By this time nearly everyone else has gotten off the bus and since it was on detour I feared my stop was coming up soon. I was genuinely afraid he was going to follow me off the bus, so I went to the bus driver and asked her if the detour would indeed go where I needed to. She said it would but it would be another 45 minutes. Then I told her I thought the guy was masturbating and her face was a mix of anger, sadness and understanding. “I’m so sorry honey,” she said. “Who is it?” I clarified and when he didn’t get off at the next stop she called back to him, “Are you ok?” He responded and then got off at the next stop. She asked, “Was that the one?” and I confirmed it and she apologized again. After that it was a long but uneventful ride.

My question to you–and please give me answers–is this: What is the appropriate response when a stranger stares at you? Circles the block to look you up and down as you wait for the bus? Tells you you’re beautiful or you’re working your boots or there’s a party you should come to or you’re got a slammin’ ass or vulgarly suggests you do something sexual to him? What is the appropriate response when a stranger touches you? When he jacks off at you?

Because in those moments, violence is the only response I have been able to fantasize, so instead I just ignore them and let a piece of my soul die.

Related articles

• Women’s History Month Kicks Off (philadelphia.cbslocal.com)
• Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor Speaks At National Constitution Center (philadelphia.cbslocal.com)
• [link] The Daily Mail claims that “we” secretly love street harassment (feimineach.com)
• Women’s History Month: On the importance of Black women’s history (thegrio.com)
• DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz Celebrates Women’s History Month: “We Can’t Stop Now” (democrats.org)
• We must all counter the mood music of rape culture (guardian.co.uk)
• 13 Sassy Quotes In Honor of Women’s History Month (cosmopolitan.com)

Park’s humble quote here that she was merely “tired of giving up” is inspiring, but overshadows the truth that she had been groomed for making history by her own family, her community, and civil rights leaders of the time. Indeed, other “test subjects” against segregation, like Irene Morgan, Claudette Colvin, Mary Louise Smith, and Aurelia Browder (the lead plaintiff in Browder v. Gayle which effectively ended segregation on public buses in Montgomery Alabama) had been considered as the face of the boycott. Parks was chosen because of her stellar history as an investigator for the NAACP of sexual assaults on black women, like Recy Taylor, her acceptable employment and family life, and because she was “above reproach.”

It is both heartening and saddening to learn that the Civil Rights Movement was sparked by a community outraged at the brutal sexual assault of one of its women; heartening because it is everyone’s duty to work together to create communities and a world that are safe for all people regardless of sex, race, age, ability or religion, and saddening because we are still fighting today to make our communities safe for all people. The fight against racism is inextricably linked to the fight against sexism, and the fight against homophobia, and the fight against ableism, etc. In the words of Dr. King “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Although Parks is the most famous woman activist of the Civil Rights Movement, many women had to come together to ignite the fight for equality, including Jo Ann Robinson, Coretta Scott King, Mary Fair Burks, Josephine Baker, Mary E. King, Daisy Bates, and the women of the Women’s Political Council. Although most history books focus on the male leaders of the movement, without these and other women who dedicated their lives to the fight for equality, many of the laws we now take for granted would never have been adopted. The everyday folks in Montgomery who participated in the bus boycott day in and day out for 381 days, who walked to work through rain and cold and sweltering heat were the ones who made the boycott a success. Without the cooperation of the community Rosa Parks’ determination would have been swallowed up by complacency and a resignation that the status quo would never change. It is your duty now, today, to honor Parks and other activists like her who have dedicated, and in some cases given, their lives in the fight for equality. Analyze, strategize and act to create equality. And do it with love.
Happy Birthday Rosa Parks: You are an inspiration to us all!

Today is NARAL Pro-Choice America‘s 8th Annual Blog for Choice Day! And since they asked so nicely I thought I’d throw in my two cents on this year’s topic: Why are you pro-choice?

I am an abortion counselor. I talk to women who have made (and some who are in the process of making) one of the hardest decisions they will ever face. My job is to make sure they understand the procedure and what to expect, that all the consent forms are signed and in compliance with (ridiculous) Texas laws, that all of the patients’ questions are answered, but most importantly, it’s my job to ensure that each patient I talk to is confident that she is making the right choice for herself.

For some women the decision is easy, or they feel like it’s the only option they have. Indeed many, many women couldn’t pay for their abortion if not for some kind of private charity. They have two (or three or six) kids at home and know that there is no way they can afford another child and feel that they would be taking away (both financially and emotionally) from their “living” or “existing” children, as they often say. In reality, according to Guttmacher Institute statistics, at least 60% of women seeking abortion already have one or more children at home. They are already mothers and know how much hard work, sacrifice and dedication it takes to do the toughest and most important job in the world.

In all fairness to my patients I’d say around 75% were using contraception when they got pregnant.

For some women the decision is excruciating and causes them a terrible amount of stress and heartache because they genuinely want a child but feel that they could not give it the life it deserves right now. These women’s feelings of guilt, selfishness and grief are exacerbated by “sidewalk counselors,” protesters who shout horrible, demeaning things at perfect strangers and who think their religious beliefs should dictate the morals of the lives of women they have never met. Ricky Perry and the legislators who decided Texas women need 24 hours to think over the mandatory vaginal ultrasound they are required to have before being legally eligible for an abortion take shaming women to a whole new level. What these zealots don’t understand is that abortion is very often a decision made out of love.

What most women feel after an abortion is relief. I’ve been thanked on countless occasions for helping provide this lifesaving service by women, both heartbroken and happy, who are grateful they still have a choice.

Sometimes abortion is a life changing decision, it allows a teen to graduate high school and go to the Olympics for pole vaulting, or it wakes a married woman up to the fact that she does not want to stay in her abusive relationship any longer. And sometimes abortion is mundane. For women who come in for their third or seventh, their familiarity with the process causes them more guilt than the choice itself. They have been able to shake off the stigma that women coming in for their first (and usually only) abortion may never overcome. The reality though is that no one wants to have an abortion: what every woman who comes to me wants is to not have gotten pregnant in the first place.

No one knows you, dear reader, and your life better than you do. So why, especially with something as intimate and private as procreation, would anyone else think they know what’s best for me?

That is the reason I am pro-choice.

I am pro-choice for all of the patients I have ever encountered, from the woman whose husband was battling cancer to the teenager I sent away twice because she didn’t want an abortion even though her parents thought it was best for her. I am pro-choice for the patient who needs an abortion but because of her medical condition has to have it done in a hospital and thus literally needs an act of Congress to have it done because the hospitals in her town are religious. I am pro-choice for Savita Halappanavar, and because I never again want to mourn a woman’s life lost because she did not have access to a safe abortion.

I am pro-choice because it’s my body and I have the human right to choose if, when, and how to procreate or not. Why are you pro-choice?

Related articles

• I support a woman’s right to an abortion. (feministconscience.wordpress.com)
• Roe v Wade at 40: what American women owe to abortion rights | Jill Filipovic (guardian.co.uk)
• Blog for Choice 2013 (columbusfamilycounseling.com)
• On 40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade, New Poll Shows that Majority of Americans Want Abortion to Be Legal, but States Attempt to Nullify (polistew.com)

To celebrate this momentous occasion in the birthplace (pun intended) of choice come on down to the Capitol of the Lone Star State: Austin, Texas!

Join dozens of organizations and businesses and thousands of individuals who are proud to proclaim:

Texas is pro-choice!

Feeling fired up? There are three four big events in the Austin area in honor of Roe’s 40th Anniversary.

1) Join pro-choice Texans for a free glass of champagne Wednesday, January 16th at Lustre Pearl for Cocktails for Reproductive Justice!

2) Take part in a free (RSVP required) conversation about women’s health and family planning with state representatives Democrat Donna Howard and Republican Sarah Davis the morning of January 22nd.

3) Enjoy a celebratory dinner at Mercury Hall on January 24th. You can learn more about this NARAL event or buy your tickets here. AND

4) Tell your representatives how you really feel about abortion at a rally on the steps of the Texas Capitol from 11:30-12:30 on January 22nd. Can’t wait to see y’all Celebrating Women’s Lives and Choices!

The Celebrating Women’s Lives and Choices Rally is sponsored by:
National Women’s Political Caucus
NARAL Pro-Choice Texas
Planned Parenthood of Greater Texas
Faith Action for Women in Need (FAWN)
The Lilith Fund
Whole Woman’s Health
First Unitarian Universalist’s Action for Justice Committee
Austin NOW
GetEQUAL TX
Texas Women’s Coalition

All your “Hey babys!” are leaving me weak in the knees.

But it’s not in a good way
It’s not how you want
Because cat calls in general
Just feel like taunts

When you yell from your car
Or whistle in the street
What you’re really saying is:

“This place is for me.”

Women and girls treated like property
And your attitude towards us leaves our souls in poverty.

Everyday we face you
Everyday we hate you
Everyday we wish
We wish
We wish we could erase you!

Ok maybe not you, that’s taking it too far
But your ideas and your sexism spewed from afar.

Do you get it now, how unsafe we feel?

Street harassment is hate and your hatred is real.

So what can you do, how can you help?
Speak up!
Speak out!
Tell your boys how it felt
To know that your words
About sexy and hot
Make us feel like victims

When that’s something we’re not.

Sexism kills
In more ways than one
So stop street harassment
‘Cause this shit ain’t fun.

Related articles

• Stop street harassment with your cell phone? The latest City 2.0 award winner shows how (ted.com)
• How Egyptians are fighting harassment in the streets (guardian.co.uk)
• Harassment shackles women (thehindu.com)
• Vigilantes In Egypt Are Capturing And Spray Painting Sexual Harassers In The Streets (thegloss.com)
• [link] The Daily Mail claims that “we” secretly love street harassment (feimineach.com)

There. I said it.

If you’re not familiar with the politics of privilege, it’s basically the idea that with certain categories of humanness come certain privileges, or gifts. For example, being white in the USA means never feeling like people with a skin color comparable to yours are not well represented on television. Too abstract? How about this, being a cis-man in the US means you have the privilege of using a bathroom designated for men without fear someone will be violent with you because you chose to use that restroom. Ok, ok, here’s an easy one, being rich in America means you have the privilege of going to the doctor when you’re sick.

This entry isn’t about privilege in general though. Much has been written about white privilege, male privilege, heterosexual privilege, white heterosexual male privilege, and even how to talk about privilege. In the US, generally speaking, white, Christian, heterosexual, non-disabled, middle-to-upper class, cis-men hold the most privilege, and anyone falling into any of those categories holds some. If you really want to get into it read the article up there on the politics of privilege. Hell, just google any identifier + privilege and marvel at the results. What I want to focus on here is the ways in which expressing specific emotions in American society are privileged according to gender.

In dominant American culture masculinity and femininity (as if there is only one of each) are opposites and thus the people who are “supposed to” embody these characteristics are also opposites, i.e. men vs. women. Name some characteristic emotions of women or femininity. Go ahead, I won’t be offended.

Ok, maybe I will be, but that’s not your fault, it’s society’s, so if you’re helping to change socially constructed gender roles, don’t worry about it, lots of things offend me. Moving on.

What emotions would you prescribe for this baby?

Emotions normally associated with women: sadness, fear, love.

Happiness seems to be the only gender-neutral emotion, which is awesome, since happiness is what everyone deserves.

Emotions normally associated with men: anger. Full stop.

I know you’re thinking, “Men are allowed and even expected to love too.” Yes, but not as much as women. Men are expected to tell a crying son to keep his chin up, and never to tell their male friends they love them. (Just think about how much crap a guy in high school gets for writing a love poem for his girlfriend!) Men who are loving are often subject to ridicule and emasculated because obviously the worst thing you can call a man is a woman. Some of the world’s most influential men–John Lennon, Gandhi, MLK Jr. and JFK–were all assassinated for telling people to love one another. How much nicer would the world be if everyone could and would express all the love they really feel?!

Now, when it comes to negative emotions like sadness, women hold nearly all the cards. Women are stereotyped as overly emotional and thus are expected, or at least allowed, to cry, scream and become “hysterical” from sadness. Men are not allowed to cry because they are sad or scream because they are scared. Again, much of the time either reaction (no matter how primal) will result in being ridiculed for expressing something “feminine.” Obviously there are exceptions to every rule like this heartbreaking photo of police officers embracing after clearing the scene at the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. But exceptions do not make the rule.

Women, on the other hand, are not allowed to express anger. According to some prominent politicians, anger is not ladylike. Indeed even police officers, judges and the legal system as a whole are much more comfortable seeing women in the victim role rather than as aggressors, as evidenced by the generally ridiculous sentences many women receive when they kill an abuser in self-defense. Sometimes the sentences are the result of a lack of knowledge that domestic violence is not always physical, but even in a high profile murder case the victim’s reality is often overshadowed. In some states even sentencing for first-time non-violent offenders is absurd. Women’s incarceration rates have grown over 600% since 1980, a direct result of the War on Drugs and punitive Three Strikes laws, while abuse of women in prisons is rampant across the nation.

Obviously a considerably higher percentage of prison inmates are men. While it does seem that statistically men just commit more crimes than women, this is directly due to the thinking that says that masculinity must be expressed through overt displays of power and domination and often the kind of anger and aggression that lead to violence. Men are allowed to be angry, yell, beat their chests, use threatening language, and even commit overt acts of violence. In any situation though it is the person or people in power who have the privilege of getting angry: marginalized voices are not allowed to yell. Indeed when women do express anger they are chastised and labeled man-hating feminist lesbians. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, (well, except for the hating part, that gets us nowhere) but dividing marginalized groups is the easiest way for dominant groups to retain their power.

Despite the fact that the public is generally more comfortable seeing men as violent and women as victims, even when women are frequently sexually assaulted they receive little to no help, are put on trial for their sexual histories and rarely get justice. There are lots of us working to end domestic violence and sexual assault, and you can do your part too, by demanding the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. As we leave behind the wonder and horror of 2012 I wish you all a happy, equal 2013. Have a safe New Year’s celebration and do your damnedest to break out of the cage!

Regardless where any of us sits in this picture, we are all inside the cage.

Related articles

• Privilege Primer (caitlinsong.wordpress.com)
• Competency A: Systems of Privilege and Oppression (cssaportfoliojessicabaron.wordpress.com)
• Gender Differences in Emotional Health (everydayhealth.com)
• White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh (powerisknowledge.newsvine.com)

The “Legitimate Rape” Republicans this year saddled the American people with an onslaught of outrageous policies like demanding proof that a disabled rape victim show evidence of physically fighting off her attacker. From suggesting women should be paid less, to not reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act, to voter fraud, to flat-out denying abortions to raped women in war and raped women soldiers, to the party platform calling for a constitutional ban on abortion, to calling conception from rape a gift from God, to denying birth control on the basis of religion, to claiming breast milk “cures” homosexuality, to making it legal to kill abortion providers the GOP really went off the deep end. The joke has made its way around the internet since November 6th but it’s true: When someone says, “The rape guy lost,” and you have to ask, “Which one?” your party is in trouble.

Romney lost not only the debate to women but women cost him the election too. With the last House Democratic hold-out finally signing on to co-sponsor the Respect for Marriage Act in September, Dems were paving the way towards equality in the months leading up to the election. Their commitment to human rights, (including President Obama’s stated support for marriage equality campaigns in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington, with WA, ME and MD successfully voting for equality), reflects the fact that 51% of Americans support marriage equality. Obviously there’s a long way to go for full equality for the LGBTQAI community since it is still legal in 29 states to fire someone for being gay and legal in 34 states to fire someone on the basis of gender identity, but with 7 LGBT representatives in the 113th Congress at least some states are making progress.

This election was one of many firsts. Wisconsin Democrat Tammy Baldwin is the first openly gay (lesbian) Senator to be elected in US history. Another Tammy, newly elected Illinois Congressional Representative Democrat Tammy Duckworth, a mixed-race double amputee Iraqi War veteran helicopter pilot, has got to be a first as well. She easily triumphed over imbicil incumbent Joe “abortion is never necessary to safe a woman’s life” Walsh. Meanwhile in Arizona a shining spot of hope became reality when Democratic Representative Kyrsten Sinema was elected as the US’s first openly bisexual member of Congress. Other firsts include the first Asian-American woman (and Hawai’i's first woman) Senator, Democrat Mazie Hirono, and North Dakota’s first woman Representative ever, Senate Democrat Heidi Heitkamp.

Perhaps most exciting is New Hampshire’s first– the first all-female delegation ever elected! Two female Representatives, two female Senators and America’s only female Democrat Governor make the Granite State one of the most progressive in the nation. New Hampshire serves as a sign of hope that eventually one day gender won’t matter in elections, or in life. But for now gender does matter, and women made up 53% of the electorate in this election, were elected to at least 77 Congressional seats and now serve in 20% of Senate seats– the most ever in US history. Here at Feminist Activism we’re also thrilled that Democrat Elizabeth Warren beat incumbent Republican Scott Brown to the Senate in Massachusetts and that Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill was re-elected and legitimately shut down Tea Party Republican Todd Akin.

As Emily’s List’s Impact Project shows, having Democratic women in office hugely affects the issues that are of most importance to constituents. It’s safe to say that a majority of women in the United States breathed a sigh of relief when Obama’s re-election was announced. Hopefully his Supreme Court Nominees will ensure that we don’t have to worry about Roe v. Wade being overturned in our lifetimes. And with the United Nations declaring access to contraception a universal human right, maybe the feminization of poverty that results from so many unplanned or unwanted pregnancies around the world will start to dwindle.

Despite some a lot of rampant sexism throughout the election season there were many shining moments for the advancement of gender equality as well, including the This Is Personal campaign Your Reproductive Health is No Joke and the You Don’t Own Me PSA. If you want to keep up pressure on our government and ensure that access to safe, legal and affordable birth control and abortion are protected, draw the line and sign the Center for Reproductive Rights’ Bill of Reproductive Rights, and tell President Obama to protect women’s reproductive health! Keep up the good fight voters, let’s have the next Democratic Convention in Denver!